The Fine Print

Gentlemen of Complex Emotions Service Terms and Conditions (for Beta versions)

These terms and conditions govern and regulate the use of the services and applications provided to you as a user, tuned to your own liking by Gentlemen of Mystery Loving Co. and are described in more detail below.

Please ensure you read these terms and conditions carefully, as even the slightest use, including casual conversation, or even as much as an unpurposed smile to your product (the person you choose to love) indicates that you have read, accepted and unconditionally agreed to these Terms and Conditions hereby stated and any other applicable terms.

You may not use the services if you are a (a) person who isn’t mature to form a binding contract with your gentleman of choice or (b) person who is barred from receiving the Services under the declarations of your friends who know you more than you probably think you actually do.

Below are the terms and conditions that describe:

How you may choose to know the person that you choose

How you may want to love whoever you receive

How you or your “device” may terminate the relationship.


Your device is only a beta. The actual complete update doesn’t come until we are sure that the product will bring you a minimum level of happiness and fulfillment to all your needs, which means that faults and mistakes may arise more often that you expect. We are not therefore responsible for severe heartbreak or injuries to the soul that result from use of your product in any way or form apart from those stipulated in this agreement.

  1. Of “Use and Misuse”

Black boxes are black for a reason. No part of this products components may be opened up for any reason whatsoever. Curiosity will only void your warrant and no one wants to get stuck with a spoilt brat that they can’t get rid of. Thus, the mechanisms by which this product operates is not of utmost importance, rather pay close attention to whether the product functions “normally” and produces the expected results.

The use of this product is not to be concurrent with any other Gentlemen of Mystery Loving Co products, as simultaneous use of two of the same products may lead to interference. In simple terms, keep one at a time until you choose to change products. We do offer a wide range of options and if you feel that your product is unsatisfactory, you may “dump and replace” which is a valid option as long as warranty is not void. You may not otherwise “share” this product with any other user, because multiple use causes dysfunctions.

Always remember to serve the recommended amount of Heartbreak made specific according to this linked recipe

2. Of “Interactions and Intimacy”

You may choose to expressly show your affection in the case that you wish to do so, but beware that excessive emotional breakdowns tend to appear whenever emotional tolerance level has been exceeded. For this reason, it is safest to set your emotional tolerance level once you receive your product to the level at which you judge is best according to you as this level may not be adjusted later on.

You may choose to present your product as a special prize to whomever your product to “interact” with. Interactions are an essential part of use and are required to be maintained on a regular basis in order to preserve structural integrity of the products social skills.

3. Lifetime Limits

There is a definite period for which use of your product ensures that it functions at optimal level. This, as we have tried and tested with previous beta versions is for a period of no more than four months, five if you stretch it far enough and possibly six if you’re really lucky.

4. Caveats (relating to specific Beta Versions of our product)

Specific Beta versions may exhibit signs of discomfort when placed in a state of “confusion”. Meaning that certain versions may misread signals you display to them, and act in a way you didn’t anticipate. If this occurs, don’t attempt to “slap” some sense into it, because this course of action is hardwired to cause acute levels of induced unresponsiveness for hours or days on end. Clarity is therefore a key to avoiding this special case.

“Levels of satiety” depend on how much attention you give to your product. Stimulation of the product’s reward system from outside sources may lower performance in certain aspects of your product. Keep your product close to your heart- within sight as much as you can

5.Repair and Maintenance

If broken, please take keep product far from any obviously dangerous or potentially harmful objects as product may be prone to tendencies of self-harm or harm to the user. This includes, but is not limited to sudden outbursts, unexpected breakdown, refusal to bend to your will, or utter disappointment. If you are sure that the product is defective, please seal the product, attach the enclosed return label and mail to:

Gentlemen of Mystery Loving Co. 10 Heartbreak Avenue, Suite 5, 13656 PP, Blissville

Gentlemen of Mystery Loving Co reserves the right to change any part of these Terms and Conditions whenever necessary.

If you agree to the terms and conditions spelt out, you may proceed with the product’s use.


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